Postcards & Polaroids

What more can I say

2011-10-04T22:33:00.002+08:00

Trial results :

BM : 72

English : 83

Chinese : 57 -___-

Maths : 98
Add Maths : 88
Moral : 91
Sejarah : 72

Biology : 68 -__________-

Chemistry : 81
Physics : 92

OMG ALL A'S EXCEPT FOR CHINESE AND BIO , AND BIO , JUST THAT 2 MORE MARKS AND I CAN GET AN A , SUX2BMI !!!! >(

Hall of Fame

2011-09-10T11:31:00.003+08:00

Just realised that this picture is somehow complete . Meet my angels and my daily dose of love :)

Hello there fellow readers (if there's any) , first of week of trials in finally over , BM and History were a little tough for me . It'll be a hectic week starting from next week since it's all the Science subjects . Can somebody just kill me ?

I really wish I can score at least 9A's , A+ if possible . Since I'm taking 10 subjects , the only subject that I don't think I'll be able to score A will be Chinese . Sometimes , I'm a little disappointed with myself since I can't speak my mother tongue well enough . Moving on , I need the 9A's to help me apply the full scholarship at KDU college . I feel like going there because they have a course on Acturial Science and that is exactly what I want after my SPM .

OMG what is wrong with me ?! Why do I feel like sometimes I have this 'I-hate-everyone' feeling , and the 'Everyone-please-shut-up' feeling . I wonder if it's me or everyone is just being a bitch to me . Okay maybe PMS symptoms , I shall keep my mouth shut :x

Oh and I watched Smurfs with Nad and Fara on Wednesday . OMG it was sooooo cuteeeee !! Laughed and cried in the movie , touching yet funny at the same time . Watching with my two lovely babies always make the movie better , love them to the max !

Alright , I shall continue doing my Add Maths , Chemistry and Biology . Wish me luck , xx .

A long goodbye

2011-09-04T11:56:00.002+08:00

Bishi bashi bishi bashi , hello there :)

Sunday morning and it's pretty breezy outside . Am here taking a break from studying . Wow can't believe it's September already . I've been doing the school leavers page for 5 Amanah , the fact that I'm going to leave 'school' in about 3 months time kills me .

I know how I hate waking up in the morning , doing homeworks and stuffs , but I know I will miss going to school , I will miss wearing my uniform , and most of all , I will miss the awesome teachers and my fellow friends .

It's at school that we can do crazy stuffs . Ponteng kelas , running here and everywhere . Sigh , I feel like going back to Form 1 now . I just really hope me and my friends will still be close for now and forever , I don't want to lose contact with anyone .

Am taking trials this Tuesday and the major exam in November , wish me luck errbody ? :)

Let's go

2011-08-27T11:22:00.003+08:00

Look at the moon

2011-08-17T02:02:00.002+08:00

Hello there .

It's 2.04 am now , I miss blogging in the middle of the night . Wow , trials is in 20 days , I can't even imagine myself sitting for trials . Not to forget , the real major exam , SPM is in NINE freaking TY days .

Went to Amalin's house yesterday . Before Epul came , I had a heart-to-heart talk with her , felt way better after that . Don't you think it's just nice to have a friend to talk to when you're not feeling happy ? We talked and she made me realise that I'm actually seventeen already , but why do I still act like a kid ? Pfft , I can't even fry an egg .

It's August already , how did 2011 pass by so fast ? Where did the time went ? And what have I been doing this whole year ? Wished I spent my time wisely .

Moving on to my private life , I've decided to built a strong and tall wall around my heart . I just want to focus on my studies at the moment . Can't deny that I still have strong feelings towards Hazim , but I won't let it affect my studies , I promise . And I hope the feelings will fade as soon as possible , because it's really no fun loving someone who doesn't love you back .

The next guy that is willing to break this tough wall I've built will be worth the wait , I'm sure he will not disappoint me .

Do you still think about me when you take a glance at the moon ? Well , I hope you do .

I can't explain

2011-08-14T10:33:00.003+08:00

Scratch everything above because we both are not together anymore .

So yeah , Hazim called it off yesterday . I guess I expected it , but I never knew it would hurt this much . Cried for the whole night and I think I'm better now .

Though a part of me will always love him , but this break up will be better for both of us since we're going nowhere . It'll still ache me when I think back of our times together and passing the road we use to pass , but time heals everything , so I'll just have to wait .

I'll definitely miss your random goodnight texts and how you hold me in your arms , take care of yourself for me okay ?

Badass

2011-07-29T18:29:00.002+08:00

Ignore the title , I don't know what title to put .

Hey blog ! I'm really lazy to blog nowadays . But it's like , I don't want to leave this blog , I want to keep writing since I've been writing in this blog for almost 4 years already .

Read back my previous post , weh I miss Hazim . I miss him so dearly and badly . And then there's Hilmi , I wonder how's he doing . He never wished me for my birthday but he texted me 5 days before my birthday , reminding me that my birthday is near , mehh :(

I went to this Sejarah seminar at KBU today . It was like some kind of reunion man , saw so many friends from other schools . I even saw Amanda , my kindergarten friend , what a small world :)

The fasting month is near , I remember I used to break fast with Hazim's family , I miss that feeling of being part of his family .

Life .

Hello

2011-07-15T18:06:00.002+08:00

Hi readers , I'm still alive ! :D I know , I know , I've only updated two posts in the previous month . School's been really mean to me since it's keeping me busy with homeworks and stuffs .

My trip to Taiping was .. so-so . Worse than what I expected . I guess the best part of the trip was when my friends came to my room and we watched Insidious together during midnight . Scary yet fun at the same time . And then , the next morning , we went swimming together . We even played 'chicken' in the pool , good times , good times . Oh and , the whole bus sang me a birthday song when I was crying due to some stupid reasons , that was very touching .

*drumroll*

Happy 11 Months Anniversary Sayang :)

If you be my star , I'll be your sky .

I wish you were here

2011-07-04T21:26:00.002+08:00

Went to KLCC with my homeboys , Hafiz , Deepak , Ihsan and my sister yesterday . Watched TRANSFORMERS 3D . Holy fuck , it was beyond awesome man . Don't mind watching it again .

After movie , we went to Ben's to have lunch . Nice environment to have talks . Laughed like nobody's business . Food was superb , paid 30 bucks for it , worth the money (Y)

GUESS WHAT ?!

I'm going to Taiping this Friday with my beloved ones , and for a bonus , it's on my birthday . Aiyer !! Can't wait !

Man I miss writing long post on my blog but I really have no idea what to say . Oh well , July's been really good to me , hope everything'll go smoothly this month . Ta-ta !

You're the bomb

2011-06-15T14:46:00.001+08:00

Happy 10 Months Anniversary , sayang :)

2011-06-06T11:23:00.002+08:00

Hi !

Yesterday , Hafiz and Deepak picked me and my sister up from our house then we went to Secret Recipe and bought a blueberry cheesecake for the beloved Abang Ihsan . Before we purchase the cake , they wanted to buy condom for Ihsan , right ...

One of the reason why I love Tumblr , teeheee .

Sorry blog , I'm so lazy to type right now . I guess I'll update more about my holidays in the next update .

Oh and , last but not least ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM HYUN JOONG OPPA ♥

As long as you're there

2011-06-03T02:31:00.002+08:00

The boyfriend just texted and wished me goodnight , I miss your goodnight messages , I miss you .

Closing the spaces in my heart

2011-05-21T01:03:00.002+08:00

MAN RINDU EZRUL SIAL

Reading that broke my heart . We've had so many bittersweet moments together , and OMG the teddy part ! Ezrul , my brother , my friend , my dancing partner , my uh ex-boyfriend ? Thanks for singing and playing the guitar for me whenever I'm down , never fail to put a smile on my face . Remember how we used to laugh so loudly whenever we go out together ? Dancing on the bus , laughing gleefully at hilarious horny jokes .

I remember how you asked for me to couple with you man , you sent me some long ass text karangan and ended it with like " Will you marry me ? I mean will you be my girlfriend ? " Awlolo , you were so sweet last time .

Reading that status of Ezrul made me realised how much I've changed . I miss laughing , I miss being happy and crazy , you know that kind of thing ? Life .

2011-05-15T00:34:00.002+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII :D

Okay I'm sorry for abandoning this blog for such a long time , really busy with mid-terms and Tumblr , hehe . Anyway , yesterday was one of the best day I've had so far .

I woke up in the morning and studied maths a little . Met up with my baby girl , Fara at Jati at 2.30 pm . Took a cab and went to Bentley . God that uncle is one scary man . At first he was kinda funny , me and Fara had a great laugh inside the cab . Till he started talking about his ... sex experience . Okay that was awkward . But oh well , he gave us a RM 0.60 discount , so hehe God bless you uncle :D

Had McD and went to Bentley to see Hazim and his band performed . They're good :D Gave Hazim a surprised and I hope , he liked it :)

After that , went to Curve with Fara . God this girl is so crazy ! From doing aerobics in the middle of the road to screaming " FUCK YOU " to those bunch of Malay Boys in the Kancil . HAHAHA . Walked around Curve , did krazee stuffs together like ... Being a FBI and shooting kids around with our 'guns' , going to the merry-go-round , posing with statue , showing the 'love' sign to random people , hitting random people's ass , played Rapunzel and got this uncle slept near the window , so we waked him up by knocking the window . I MISS YOU OREDI GIRL :(

After all the fun , Hazim picked us up and sent us to Kastam . Wanted to go Ami's house but she had some intensif class at Jerry's -__- So we went to Jamal instead . Then we went home . Watched the match at night , and I'm so glad MU got the champion title . Can my Saturday get any better ? :)

HAPPY 9 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY ,
SUPERBOY ♥

Too cute to be true :3 I love you so much handsome boy (:

Where were you when I needed you ?

2011-05-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

I'm having so many things in mind now , but where to start ?

I feel so lost at the moment , pardon me if I'm going to whine a lot at this post . As time passes by , things change , memories fade , people go and the true ones will remain . I feel like I'm having a distance with this friend of mine . At one point , I can feel there's a lot of hatred towards him , but when I'm all alone at night , under my blankie and when my thoughts wander , I'll still think back when we used to talk on the phone till 3 o'clock in the morning , always being there for each other , and the list goes on . I think I miss you ... God , what am I crapping about ?

For now , all I want is excellent results for my mid-term . Hence , I truly hope that the drama(s) and bullshit(s) will give me a break and stay away from me a little while .

And my pimples have to learn how to shut up and stop seeking for attention on my face >(

Push it , push it

2011-04-27T21:31:00.002+08:00

Finally had my Tutti Frutti date with ze girls just now *satisfied . Laughed my ass off with them , we should do that every week . Saw so many familiar faces just now , and the two hours non-stop laughing with them really made my day .

My mid-term is in ... 15 more days , I repeat , BLOODY FIFTEEN MORE DAYS , AND I HAVE FRIGGIN 10 SUBJECTS TO STUDY . Okay sorry for the drama , but oh my God , this is madness man .

I need more motivation to study >:(

End of the road

2011-04-23T16:08:00.002+08:00

Was clearing some pictures from my laptop , and I found pictures of us , again .

Remember the time when I was standing next to my ex-boyfriend , you point at me , and told your guy friends , " that's my beautiful girlfriend " . Maybe it's memories like these that is constantly pulling me back from reaching the 'move on' button . No matter what I do , who I'm with , I just can't seem to erase you from my memory .

" I sayang dia , why is she doing this to me ? " You told my sister to go downstairs and talk to you because you don't want me to hear you crying . I can't take this pain anymore , I can't take the fact that I've let go the most wonderful guy in this world .

I know I shouldn't be missing you , but I miss you , K .

It's like that

2011-04-18T18:48:00.003+08:00

Hello guys , I'm back from camp :)

So let's see , when we arrived there , we did some aerobics . Had dinner , then at night we had some ice-breaking . I'm in the first team , with Hambali , Hanani , Dhinesh , Syarisa , Amira , Rozafir , Qausar , Daniel , one form 1 girl and one form 1 boy as team members . After some activities , we head to bed . Texted with Hazim , Fara , Michelle , Aiman and Rauf that night , made me missed home even more :'(

Next morning , did aerobics and had breakfast . We had exploris in the afternoon . Went to the firestation , had to carry Syarisa to somewhere approximately 6 metres away from me . We both weight 45 kg , so that was quite a torture . Then we went to the beach , and performed aerobics infront of all the tourists at Port Dickson . Had to hold and kiss a hamster . After that , did another task which is to go to the police station and clean up the place . Nothing much . Then we had to pass frogs from one team member to another team member . When that task is complete , we had to put little fishes in our mouth and transfer it into another cup about 3 metres away from us . I feel so brave at that moment :B

Then at night , we had some activites . I looked up to the sky , and saw this bright full moon , surrounded with tiny stars . How beautiful , reminded me of my baby boo . Texted with Hazim till I fall asleep that night .

On Sunday , we went to the beach . After some activites , lunch and all , we went back home . Since day 1 I've been wanting to go home so I was really excited when Mr Ananda said the bus has arrived .

Didn't enjoyed much for this camp , for me it's actually quite boring , glad it's over .

For the language week , Mr Ananda told me I got 3rd for the english essay competition . Yeay ! Mich got first for both essay and literature competition , such a clever baby !

A little note over here , I love my boyfriend , he's honestly the best ♥ !

What's not to adore ?

2011-04-14T23:16:00.002+08:00

Leaving to Poat Dickson tomorrow for prefect's camp . I'm not looking forward towards it though . I hope these 3 days will pass by very quickly .

HAPPY 8 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY

Muhammad Hazim , I love you :)

You can't keep a good girl down

2011-04-10T15:23:00.002+08:00

HELLO YELLOW ! *indian slang , hihi

Went to Digilive competition yesterday . Tiring man , we had to stand for very long . Anyway , me and Mich's performance were uber early . Ami , Amalin , Fara , Nareeta , Nad and Farah Aqilah came late , hence they missed our performance :( But Epul and Aiman said we did great , yeay ! Oh and , Weng Han came too , such a sweetheart !
I think yesterday was my first time wearing make up in a mall since I don't really like wearing make up . And when Rauf saw me applying my lip gloss , all he could say was " Nampak klakar aah " , damn that boy , no compliments but comments . But Nareeta said I look great , weeee kembang jap !

While waiting for Epul and Aiman's band to perform , we walked around the mall . My heels were hurting me so badly , I gave up and bought a pair of flats . Had lunch at A&W , and we went to the venue of the competition again . Nas came after awhile . We waited for quite a long time before Aiman and Epul's band peform . But anyway , saw so many cute boys yesterday . Hehe :B Then Aiman and band performed followed by Epul's band .

I bumped into Kailiang and Jian Yang . Miss Kailing like hell . We've been friends since we both were 7 . He performed too . But I didn't get to see since I went home right before he was about to play the keyboard .

Went home and showered . Then I went to the night market . It was crazy man , I bumped into so many people , as if we already planned to meet at pasar malam . Bought a small packet of mee goreng from a new stall and it cost RM 3.50 , wtf tak leh mahal lagi ?

Had loads of fun yesterday and I slept at 9 pm ++ . Oh and I dropped 2 kg after eating so many thing yesterday , maybe I have to eat more to get skinnier . Till then , byee :]

Please

2011-04-07T22:44:00.003+08:00

Had English tuition yesterday . The boys were so noisy and Cikgu Kamsinar literally went crazy controlling them . She's right , some boys are just so immature . Like c'mon , you're freaking 17 already , have some sense and grow up man . I wonder when will you people actually become a 'man' . Annoying like fuck -__-

Me and Michelle entered a competition , a singing competition . It's called 'Digilive' organised by Digi . We're gonna perform it at One Utama New Wing this Saturday . It's so last minute and I doubt we have enough practice . But I still hope for the best , and come and support ? :D

Anyway , that day Bal called . I didn't picked up since I was sleeping . Texted him and he told me the DCA approved him to aviation training . Man , I'm so happy for him . I really am , it's his dream since young and he've proven to me that dreams can , and will come true .

My dream is to be Hazim's wife , what's yours ? :)

Ma homies

2011-04-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

Hello there everybody ! Saturday was splendid ! Had breakfast with Deepak and Hafiz at Old Town . We haven't see each other for quite some time already , so we had a very good chat . I laughed so hard that Deepak kept asking me if I took my medicine or not ;p Oh and I bumped into Hariz at Old Town this morning .

After breakfast , Hafiz drove 3 of us to school for Hari Anugerah Cemerlang . I took the passenger seat and controlled the car's gear . It was a Kancil so the gear is in manual . I got kinda confused while trying to control the gear and we nearly got into an car accident . Fuck we were so close to death , thank God we're still alive . It was fun :p
I remembered when I used to go movie dates with Emi , I will control his car's gear and he will give me that " >( " look , hmph :(

Hari Anugerah Cemerlang was kinda boring since it's all about prize giving , so not much about that to talk about . After HAC , I had lunch with Ihsan , Deepak , Meagan , Nicole , TatChee , E-Wei and Adrian . TatChee told me that he wants to go back to school next year and see me get the best student award . Haiyoh , everyone is telling me to be like my sister , get the best student award , this and that , pressure is hitting me real hard . Have to admit that them 5 boys are really very handsome now .

After lunch , Ihsan sent me and my sister home . Slept the whole afternoon and went to Granny's in the evening . And guess what ? Uncle Lawrence is back from Thailand ! Stayed there till night and here I am blogging . After eating my favourite cookie I'll be off to bed . Can my Saturday get any better ? :'D

Blame the boredom

2011-03-31T22:24:00.004+08:00

Khaist looks so cute in this picture , no ? :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHONG JIA WEI ♥

This is probably my third time wishing already ;p

Weng Han is moving to Australia soon , I feel so .... crushed :(

I had the time of my life

2011-03-26T00:17:00.001+08:00

KENAPA AKU MACAM DAH TAK SAYANG DIA ? :'(

I wish

2011-03-23T21:43:00.002+08:00

The results for SPM 2010 is announced today . I went to the hall to meet them boys who are taking their results . So happy and proud for their excellent results .

p/s ; Yee Juinn , I know you very happy don't have to punch me so hard on the arm ok ? :(

And omg , Tat Chee , a boy from 5A last year , which means his class was just beside my class . HE . IS . SO . DAMN . FREAKING . ABSOLUTELY . SUPER . HANDSOME . NOW . OH . MY . GOD . Last year , I didn't even bother looking at him . One of my girlfriend had a crush on him , and all I can say was " Eww " , but today , damn son , he coloured his hair and he scored straight A's for his SPM ! OMG PERFECT BOYFRIEND NIII ! Hihi , gurau je , lek braah ! And he is going to attend Hari Anugerah Cemerlang next Saturday TOO , yeaaay ! :B

Looking at those happy faces today , it sort of " motivated " me to study with more effort . It's like I want to score straight A+ for my SPM too ! I don't want to disappoint people who have high hopes on me . From now on , I am just going to focus on my studies .

And for my March test results , I scored

BM - 73 A-
BI - 84 A
BC - 66 B+
Maths - 98 A+
Add Maths - 94 A+
Chem - 67 B+
Physics - 77 A-
Bio - 53 C

I haven't got my Moral and History results , yet . Hopefully I did well . Quite satisfied with my results since I target atleats 5A- , and I scored 5A's already .

I guess that's it , byee :]

Forever you and me

2011-03-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hi there fellow readers . Went to breakfast at Pavillion on Sunday . Then me and my sister went to KLCC since dad wants a new belt . So after we've choosen the one we want , we went to the counter to pay , and OMG , you know what ? That cashier looked EXACTLY like Hazim . I was like O___O
And then , another guy came . So I looked at the guy's nametag , and it wrote there " Hazim " .

Aiyo , ok rindu :'(

Say , won't you stay ?

2011-03-17T22:38:00.002+08:00

Disco Skating with the lovelies ! Sadly , Amalin , Ami , Michelle and Reeta couldn't join us :(

Great day with them and we shall go for Laser Tag next time :) Oh and , I had my chocolate mint ice-cream after so long , ahh bliss !

Unbreak my heart

2011-03-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

Hi there my sayangs who is currently reading this , sorry for the lack of update , blame my frenetic schedule . So here goes ,

11/3

MARCH'S TEST IS OVERRRR ! No comments about it , but I hope I could get AT LEAST 5A's . After exam , had lunch with my girls and boys at Cendana then us girls went to Ami's room and had a little girls talk . It was great . I hope Ami's mum is going to recover from her operation as soon as possible :) I love them girls in the picture above , they are my princesses :)

12/3

Had Sushi with Mum and sister . Bumped into Khairil , and the moment I saw him I was thinking , this boy gets more handsome every year man . No joke .

13/3

Skype-d all night long with AimanZ . I know I looked like a guy in the pictures below , but heh screwed it , I had so much fun dancing , singing and laughing last night , thank you braah !

14/3

Had lunch with Mummy at OU and did some shopping . Oh and I finally chopped my hair off and it looks something like this now

I kinda look like a lion + fox , huh ? :s

15/3

Happy 7 Months Anninersary , Baby ♥

I've been watching this Korean drama with the name , Personal Taste . What a name , I know . Cried at every episode , two more episodes to go and I've complete this drama . Such a good drama you know , 10 kudos ! I wonder , what drama to watch next ? :3

Oh and , I hope people at Japan are okay .

Sometimes I wish he was you

2011-03-08T23:15:00.003+08:00

Can't believe SPM is 250 days away . Read back my previous post and gave myself a tight slap in the face for being so immature and ... stupid . I hate how I used to 'cling' to my boyfriend(s) , ex-boyfriend(s) I mean , it's like I keep depending on them , and I always think that " I can't live without them " , " they're everything " , that kind of bullshit . STUPID STUPID STUPID .

I read Biology before I hit the sack last night , as I was trying to sleep , I told myself that this year , I really have to study hard , I want to gain good results and study abroad , make my parents proud and be successful in the years to come . Therefore , I'm going to put 'love' aside . No , I'm not saying I'm going to stop loving my boyfriend . It's just like , I don't want to spend time going all flabbergasted just because he seldom contact me and all .

I feel like I've grown up , compared to last time , I would cry myself to sleep , cry at school because of all those silly little jealousy and stuffs . But I guess as long as he still loves me , and I still love him , I'm totally fine with it :)

So yes , I really hope I can do it . Rather than wasting time crying , I would use it to study and do more stuffs that will benefit my life .

I love you sayang , like I've promised , always have , and forever will . Sorry I'm not always there for you but please know that since day 1 I told you I love you , I never have the thought of leaving you .

Night readers , and have a lovely day :)

For you I will

2011-03-07T00:16:00.002+08:00

I've fallen for you ,
finally my heart gave in ,
and I've fallen in love .

Late night love songs never fail to turn my lovey-dovey mood on .

Good luck errbody for March's test , I want atleast 5A's please dear Lord *fingers crossed*

Just pull the trigger

2011-03-04T18:25:00.003+08:00

Hi there fellow readers !

Wow haven't blog for quite awhile already . My life is pretty hectic right now , after school I have co-curiculum activities and tuition(s) , I don't even have time for Tutti Frutti or movies , sigh sad life .

Michelle and Nareeta came to my house after school yesterday . Mum cooked lunch for them and they showered at my house . Nareeta said it's her first time showering at my house but Michelle said it's her countless time showering at my house . She said my house is like her second home , that statement gave my heart a smile :) Went to LRT with them girls and waited for Epul , Amalin , Ami , Sab , Rauf and Afiq . Hop on the train to Asia Jaya and got lost for a moment , but we still managed to make it to Astaka for Squash . After Astaka , wanted to take the LRT to Taman Jaya and grab a float at A&W , but we saw a bus and it wrote there " Amcorp Mall " , got so excited and went to the bus . Turned out it was a mistake because it's more expensive and we wasted about 30 minutes on the bus .

But the bus went to this place , I have no idea where the location is , but I've been there with Hazim when we wanted to pick his sister up during Raya . Passing by those roads I've been with Hazim gave my heart a little pain , I miss him so much that words can't describe anymore .

Today at school , I sat with Rauf . Been a long time since I mention about him at my blog huh ? Can't believe I cope with his annoying-ness at school today . We were both wearing the same shirt and Grace said we both look really cute together . That gave me a heart-attack . Grace told me that Puan Rohana asked her if I'm with Rauf , I was like " ASDFGFDSASV , WHUUUUTT ? " I nearly died . Even Puan Hawati thinks I'm still with him , didn't we both made it obvious that we are clearly not together anymore ? *laughs

I am one of the calon for pelajar terbaik . Mum is really happy knowing that , only if I could really get that award , I think mum will be able to fly . Sigh , me getting the best student award is pretty impossible huh ? With all the smart asses around me . God bless me , I really hope miracle will happen .

11 more days till our 7 months , 8 more months till my SPM . Why must time fly with the speed of light ?

You and I are undeniable

2011-02-25T14:18:00.002+08:00

I MISS DANCING .
I MISS DANCING WITH EZRUL .
I MISS DANCING WITH BAL .
I MISS DANCING WITH TAUFIQUE .
I MISS DANCING WITH IMRAN .
I MISS DANCING WITH DEEPAK .
I MISS DANCING WITH KHALIS .
I MISS DANCING WITH TASHA .
I MISS DANCING WITH EVERYONE .

Missing those days when them people will come to my house and we'll start dancing around my living room , great times ey ?

Know what ? 2011 sucks . SUCKS BIG TIME . Can't believe I'm saying this but I hate myself . I hate myself for being so pessimistic and low self-esteem . And I can't friggin control my mood swings , my mood changes as fast as lightning , perhaps faster than that . Is that even possible ? No obviously . OKAY AM CRAPPING AGAIN . And wanna know what I hate most ? I take things seriously nowadays , in a bad way . I can't even take a joke nowadays . My friends might be joking around with me , but to be honest , I take every word they say to my heart . But compared to last year , whatever they say , I know they're joking , but this year , the way they joke , it felt like needles poking through my heart .

No I'm not blaming my friends . They are my great friends , and will always be . I'm just disappointed with myself . Oh well , the conclusion is , I miss the old me . Sorry for the rant readers . Good day .

Sorry that I hurt you

2011-02-21T19:38:00.003+08:00

" I want to lay on the bed beside you, and talk with you all night long. "
" Aww that would be nice :) can i sleep with you tonight ? "
" You sleep with me every night, baby :) "
" Im so afraid to lose you , i really thought we would break up the past few days :( "
" Don't talk nonsense. How can I dump my future wife? Especially when she's so beautiful :) "
" I really want to hug you so bad now , your images flooded my mind :'( "
" Please don't cry sayang :( I love you. "
" I love you more ! Im sorry , i know i havent been a good girlfriend , i swear im trying my best :( "
" Please don't make me cry. "
" Dont cry , you look more handsome if youre not crying :) and youll always be my handsome baby "
" If only I could hug you right now. I'm not gonna let you go. "

I love you , everyday , every single day .

Full moon tonight

2011-02-17T23:01:00.001+08:00

Time will come that you'll miss my presence that had always been beside you . You'll be missing it , everyday of your life .

Why are we like this ?

2011-02-16T21:00:00.004+08:00

14/2

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY
KHAIST & STKHAI ! :D

And Happy Valentines Day ! Wai Shaun surprised me with cookies , damn that boy is sweet ! Had lunch with Grace and Wai Shaun , and 3 of us had a group hug before we left . Weng Han accompanied me till I fall asleep as usual , and he asked me if he could be my valentine forever , HAHAHA *awwww* :')

After all , this year's valentine wasn't that bad :)

15/2

Michelle , Nareeta , Fara , Ami , Amalin , Epul , Afiq , Nas and Vicky came to my house ! Talked and laughed , had a great time with them . Vicky told me he was not coming but he surprised me , I MISS HIM SO MUCH OKAY ? Oh and , everyone who came wore something similar to red , hehe :3

HAPPY 6 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY , SAYANG !

Am truly sorry for hurting you , I'd love to be your last you know , baby . Andddddddddd , I love you , I swear , I do love you very much .

16/2
Had a date with them girls at Sunway , I love them till I die ! More pictures at my Facebook account , byeee (;

Don't give up on me baby

2011-02-10T22:32:00.002+08:00

Hello there bloggie , sorry for ditching you so long , I've been busy , nah just joking I'm not even close to busy these days , but I've been really lazy :B

So yes the pictures above showed what I did during chinese new year , had fun with relatives and cousins . To be honest , I hate going to school these days . I've lost the excitement I used to have when I go to school , I just can't wait to go home and have my lunch and text my friends . Seniors of mine keep telling me I'll miss school after I finish school , I know it's true , but for now , I just don't want to go school , at all .

I miss form 2 ! Hate to say this , but I miss Khalis . So many things reminded me of Khalis these days , I just ... can't stop blaming myself of how stupid I was last time . But past is past right ? At least I have the greatest boyfriend in the world now :D

Anyway to this douchebag , nak buat aku jealous ke ? Lorhh , please try again . Eh wait you don't have to try again because it will just be a waste of time , hehe if you know what I mean . But anyway , I don't mind you keep trying because you're making a fool out of yourself and I just can't help but laugh . Eh terase ke ?

My 5 Minutes survey

2011-02-05T12:02:00.003+08:00

Started at 12.07 pm

Name : Estee
Brother(S) : none
Eye colour : Dark brown/black , whichever
Shoe Size : 6 :B
Hair : um long straight black hair ? o.o
Piercing : a pair
Height : this shall be a secret :)
What are you wearing right now : tank top and shorts
Where do you live : Malaysia
Favorite Number : 8
Favorite Drink : -
Favorite month : December
Favorite Breakfast : Koko crunch

HAVE YOU EVER
Broken a bone : nope
Been In a police Car : I dont want this to happen
Fallen for a friend : Yes
Fallen for a guy/girl in a short time : Yeap
Swam In the ocean : Nope
Fallen asleep In school : Always
Broken someone's Heart : Yes
Cried when someone died : Obviously
Sat by the phone all the night waiting for someone call : Yes , how stupid of me
Saved E-mails : Nope
Been cheated : Nope , thank God for this

WHAT
Your room look a like : whaat ? o.o
What is right beside you : Blankie and Syasya :)
What is the last thing you ate : Oreo sticks

WHO
Who did you last yell : Syasya
Who was the last person you danced with : Sister
Who last made you smile : Weng Han (:

FINAL QUESTION
What are you listening to right now : The Time - Black Eyed Peas
What did you do today : I'm still on bed
Are you the oldest : Nope :D
Indoors or outdoors : Both

TODAY DID YOU
Talk to someone you like : Yeap
Kiss someone : Yeap
Sing : Yeap
Talk to an Ex : Yeap
Miss someone? : Yeap
Eat : Yeap

LAST PERSON YOU TALKED WHO
You talked on the phone to : Mum
Made you cry : Hazim
You went to the mall with : Sister
Who cheered you up : Favourite Girls

HAVE YOU
Been to Mexico? : Nope
Been to USA? : Nope

RANDOM
Have a crush on someone : (:
What books are you reading right now : I need new novels
Best feeling in the world : When the person you love , loves you back
Future kids name : Aurora
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal : Khaist and Syasya , I would prefer calling them my babies rather than stuffed animal :)
What's under your bed : Nothing , dust maybe
Favourite sports : I hate sports
Favorite place : Italy and home
Who do you really hate : I don't hate anyone rn
Do you have a job : Nope
What time is it now : 12.12 pm

With however long it took you to complete this ,
post as "My __ Minutes survey" and tag 15 peoples.

I tag :
1. *whoever*

I know it's pretty lame doing all this kind of survey but I'm just so dang bored .
Oh and I changed my tumblr link already *points to the right*

I'm falling to pieces

2011-02-03T23:54:00.003+08:00

" Ada lagu utk kau. Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni Yak Kong Xi Kong Ci Ni. Gong Xi Fa Cai Ya Estee King Kong :-D " How cute is it when your homeboy send you this ? ♥

Happy Chinese New Year fellow readers ! :)
I'm going to Seremban tomorrow . How ironic is this , Weng Han left Seremban today , and I'm going there tomorrow , we don't even have a chance to meet . Leon texted me and asked me when the hell am I going to go Subang and meet him . HAHAHA , chill la bro , I'm going tomorrow after Seremban , ok ? ;)

It's 12.00 am already , gonna text him till I fall asleep , night xx !

Closer to the edge

2011-01-27T21:12:00.002+08:00

Couldn't sleep last night , this song was on replay till I fell asleep , I swear I memorized the lyrics of this song already . Whenever I listen to this song , tears will start welling up in my eyes . And I wonder if this is just infatuation or love ?

As mentioned at the previous post , I met up with Jia Wei , Nicholas and Weng Han today . I made them wait for 45 minutes , but they didn't even blame me , sorry boys !
Laughed and talk about primary times . Weng Han got really shocked when he knew Jia Wei was my former "lover" . He said only if I go to SMK DJ , maybe I'll still be with Jia Wei , HAHAH , eww no :p

Estee ; Do you guys have like a girlfriend now ?
Jia Wei ; I'm single
Nicholas ; Single
Weng Han ; Single
Jia Wei ; I bet you're double
Estee ; Whaaat ?
Jia Wei ; We're single so you're double la
Estee ; Huh ? OHHHH
Jia Wei ; Omg why are you so slow ?

It's really nice seeing you guys , and Weng Han , why are you so sweet for a boy ? I'm touched :)

She had the most amazing smile

2011-01-26T16:32:00.002+08:00

http://winwwc.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/sometimes-you-just-have-to-have-it-in-you/

I'm so touched by you , Winnie . And I really thank God for allowing you to be my opponent . Good luck girl :)

Anyway , am meeting up with Jia Wei , Weng Han and Nicholas tomorrow , omg been years since I last saw them boys . And I bumped into Kai Xin the other day , I havent see her for approximately 5 years already . I'm a happy girl now !

Oh and , I think I'm falling in love , oh no , not again .

Back to square one

2011-01-25T00:48:00.001+08:00

We were really the kids in love back then .

MSSS Squash tournament in 7 hours time , I need all Your power .

Tell me what to say so you don't leave me

2011-01-23T23:31:00.003+08:00

WH ; you're so talented, I can't even fry an egg :D
Estee ; umm i can't fry an egg too
WH ; haha, you should learn, useful for future :)
Estee ; nah my husband is gonna do everything
WH ; haha i'll only do the dishes, others you do :p
Estee ; umm I said my husband :p

Stupid boy ! (:

Anyway , Chun How is officially the cutest guy in asking a girl's number , haha , you made my night :D

I dare you to move

2011-01-22T00:44:00.002+08:00

This morning , when mum sent me to school , the moon was still in sight , it was so bright and round , it was a full moon . I looked at it and smiled , only if you still remember what promise we made with the moon , I'll be happier .

I was home alone that day , been awhile since I have the whole house to myself . I got bored so I watched A Lot Like Love . Hehe , one of my favourite movie . I really wish I have A Walk To Remember's dvd or something , I never get bored watching that movie , it makes me believe that true love still exist .

" kau ni serious lucky oh dpt kwn kwn mcm tu :p "
AimanZ told me that . I have to agree with it because my friends are plain awesome .

Drive me around

2011-01-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

Estee ; kau still sayang dia tk ?
*** ;yeah , aku sayang dia gila kau tahu tak
Estee ; dia ada text kau skrang ? mcm lately la
*** ; kau tahu tak , aku tanya ___ tadi , ___ cakap sebab aku macam tak care , aku tak text , aku tak call , and aku tak jumpa , padahal aku text dia banyak gila and dia tak reply , aku call tak angkat , and aku ajak keluar dia cakap busy , lepastu dia cakap aku tak care ? (Y)

I wonder if there's any guy sweeter than this boy above , hee love you bestpweeenn ! Stay strong okay , just another obstacle from God . OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GIVING ADVICE WHEN THE SAME SHIT IS HAPPENING TO ME , ngeeh watafak ? o.o

So in love when we're together

2011-01-19T17:48:00.003+08:00

" Nk off la, nk main guitar. Huhuhu. Ciaoo, papehal text aku kalau kau nk nangis ke apa "

My friends are awesome people . I got my Squash strings fixed already , woohoo . Am going for Squash training and swimming tomorrow with them people , excited :D

Gah every nooks and corners I go , you're always in my mind . I really hope our love is meant to be , the kind of love that lasts forever . As much as it hurts because we're in this bad condition , I can't seem to stop loving you , I just really wish we'll be together till the end of time . I hope you know I need you here with me , no one needs you more than I need you . You're the meaning in my life , I love you Muhammad Hazim , I really do .

My heart's not free

2011-01-18T18:14:00.003+08:00

Deepest apologies to people I scolded randomly these past few days . WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME ? Why am I like this ? It's like my emotions are all over the place . I can't even control my own temper , oh God this is bad .

Ever heard of the word 'promise' ? Yeah just another word people take it and use it easily like the word 'love' . I know I'm just seventeen and too young to talk about 'love' , but there's just this something I can't get out off my mind . I hate how I have to cry myself to sleep at night because I have to wait for your goodnight text or call when you don't even bother wishing me goodnight . Are you busy or you just don't love me anymore ? I really thought you were the one you know , I really want us to last longer than this . Everytime I see adorable and sweet couples around me I feel so jealous that I always question myself why won't I deserve those kind of love from you ? People do change ey ? The first month will always be full of laughter and the next few months will just be pure sadness .

" Never blame a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience. Both are essential in life. All are gods blessings. Example, i'm having a really really bad day, but before i sleep at night, i just think bout you and my problem all solved in just a second. I love you estee wong. Goodnight baby ♥ "

I don't want to talk to Vicky about my problems , I want to talk to you , and only you .
Uhm my squash tournament is in less than 1 week time , I really want to stay away from the bullshit and focus on the game .

And it's that hard for you to make time for me , your girlfriend , hmm ? Sigh , life .

Perhaps love

2011-01-16T01:02:00.002+08:00

Hello there bloggie . Had lunch with my favourite girls at Delicious today . I missed them and I had fun with them , love you baby girls !

Went to KGNS and practiced Squash with Epul Aiman Afiq Rauf Hamimi Rahimi and Feisol . Nas came too , yeay ! I didn't had enough strength to hit the ball , so my Aiman told me this ,

Aiman ; Kau bayangkan bola ni nak bunuh Hazim , kau sayang dia kan , kau taknak dia mati kan , jadi kau pukul la kuat kuat . Macam aku , aku bayangkan bola ni nak bunuh ______ , so aku pukul la kuat kuat

What a way to give me support , haha thanks bro ! Tumpang Epul home , and took stupid pictures with Aiman at the backseat , it's at my Facebook ! :D

Anyway , one of my girlfriend told me this . It's like , she's having a boyfriend now , but the boyfriend doesn't like to text her , so she said she have to find some replacement for the texting part . HAHAHA , is this even legal ? Crazy girl &hears;

Oh and ,

Happy 5 Months Anniversary

I'm sorry I wasn't at home when you came to my house *bangs head to wall*
Without you in my arms , I feel an emptiness in my soul . I love you baby boo :-*

Finally 17 boy!

2011-01-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMPIT !

Weng weng forever ! :D

Is this more than a crush ?

2011-01-13T22:24:00.002+08:00

I feel so content all of a sudden , I think 2011 have been really nice to me , despite I cried for the first time this year after the phone talk with Hazim last night . I guessed I really miss him .

Enough for the emotional part . I called Vicky last night because I couldn't sleep . He answered the phone with " Yes baby ? " Haha such a sweet boy . We talked for ... I can't recall how long , but he managed to make me laugh when he reminded me memories of us in the cinema , oh God how I miss the times we hang out . It's kay , next Tuesday we're catching Paranormal Activity 2 together right ? :)

Squash MSSS tournament is on 24/1 helding at Bukit Bintang Boys School . Shit fuck bastard , freaking 11 days away ?! Am going for training at KGNS with them boys and Michelle . The only thing I like about tournaments are those hot squash players flashing infront of my eyes non-stop , making me go gaga >:B nah , I'm just joking ;p

Guess what ? I'm actually enjoying my tuition classes , like all of 'em . My tuition mates are really funny and they make the lesson more interesting . All of a sudden , I think God is finally treating me better . I have my baby girls whom is always there for me , them awesome boy friends who cares for me and my family always giving me courage and love .

" Tetek aku berdarah "
" Woi lenglui , teman aku gi sana please "

WHY ARE MY FRIENDS ALL SO KRAZIE ?

Am meeting Najihah Kaza tomorrow , can my life get any better ? :)
I'm a happy girl nao :D

All about him

2011-01-13T00:39:00.002+08:00

I HONESTLY THINK MY SPECTACLES IS AWESOMEZZZZ ! I really love studying in the dark :s

" Baby I'm yours, and I'll be yours until the rivers all run dryyyy :) y u so sweet?! Damn, I'm lucky to have a friend as crazily awesome like you (; sleep tight. Goodnight, I love you little miss estee wong ♥ "

I think Aiman Zulkifar is so funny ! He asked me what will I do if I have a lot of money . He said he will make pillows of SNSD and hug them . I was like ... WHUT ? Haha you fani boi :p

How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

2011-01-11T22:21:00.002+08:00

I miss the times when the first text I read when I wake up and last text before I sleep is always your text , just you , it's already more than enough . I hate how I don't feel happy receiving your text anymore , like I've lost interest in you , since I'm always the last in your list right ? Heh , boys .

Since I'm the Ketua Keceriaan for my class , I did something simple for the Duty Roaster and Carta Organisasi . Am quite satisfied with it but I know I can do better .

Disappointed my discipline teacher , AGAIN , why am I not surprised ?

11.1.11 , surprisingly good date but bad day for me . How was yours ?

Without words

2011-01-10T18:20:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

to my best friend and my other best friend who happen to be together 1 month ago :D
I shall declare both of you as the sweetest and cutest couple in the universe :)

So due to my fever/cough/flu , I've been sleeping at 8pm-10pm for the past few days , very bloody early right ? I know . I guess I will start staying up late again starting .... maybe next week . I miss staying up and webcam-ing with them Alam Megah guys , they crack me up so bad .

Had lunch with Grace , Yng Yng , Sui Tseng , Yuen Shin and Ching Theng today . I've always love eating with them , their jokes are so lame and funny at the same time . I always feel like a happy girl around them :)

I miss my boyfriend , I honestly feel like hugging him so badly now :(

With your every kiss and every hug

2011-01-08T19:45:00.003+08:00

" :DDD u look comel today! " 22:32:23 , 19-01-2008
" Morning cute gurl with pimple :p " 06:53:41 , 25-01-2008
" So, how'r you pretty gurl? " 10:55:42 , 24-02-2008

We were so close yet so far you know ? Will our memories stop haunting me already ?

Hello readers ,

Went to Sunway with Ami , Amalin , Epul , Afiq and Rauf . And guess what ? Nas came too , yeay :D we walked around and around and finally sat at Wendy's to have a little talk . It's nice to know Nas' still surviving at his school , good luck braah !

Nothing much to say but this message from this stupid friend of mine made me laugh

" Btw, aku ckp dkt ******* aku bf kau . Huahuahua "

Stupid boy ♥

How sweet it is to be loved by you

2011-01-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

Hello there dear readers . Tomorrow it's already the fifth day of school , wow , I actually enjoyed this week of school . Skipped the third day of school because I had a fever and terrible cough .

Am suppose to meet up with Weng Han and Jia Wei today , but because I'm still not feeling well , I told them next week instead . I texted Jia Wei , the first time in 4 years . Weird huh , we never texted each other for 4 years already yet we still have each other's number .

Jia Wei ; I was actually looking forward to meeting up with you. :/
Estee ; Aww really ? :')
Jia Wei ; Yeah, I was. I admit I missed you lah really. Plus we didn't really talk for the past 4 years till now. :/

Something I find really sweet ! Jia Wei used to be my "boyfriend" during primary school . Funny old times ! Looking forward to see you and Weng Han .

So I studied with Mich , Rashidatul and Izzati instead , and had dinner with them . Guess what ? Rashidatul's caller ringtone is Dynamite & Like a G6 . Rashidatul is a very shy and polite girl , the type of girl who listens to soft music , but turned out her ringtone is something different from her , function la Shitul niii ♥

Nas been away for 1 week already , the class been very very extremely quiet . I actually miss his voice , that annoying voice that made me scream " DIAM LAH " in his face everytime . Well , I miss him , I miss him a lot . Take care boy , hope you're doing okay :(

A little note to this someone out there ; I'm so tired of your bullshit(s) already , you only come to me when you need something right ? Bloody boy who doesn't knows how to appreciate . Sorry to say , but you've crossed the line and Imma show no mercy to you anymore .

Okay sesi melepaskan geram is over , peace yaw :-D

You're there for me

2011-01-02T12:54:00.001+08:00

" Happy new year Mrs hazim, I love you :) "
My Fara Shafrina is just too awesome , I love you more ♥

Made a wish , I can dream

2011-01-02T11:57:00.003+08:00

I think Najihah Kaza is on her way to Negeri Sembilan already . We did a simple farewell party for dear Nad yesterday , and the strong girl actually teared , haha , that was something to laugh about ;p

I don't have to tell you how much you mean to me because I know you know that you are more than precious to me . Take care of yourself okay ? Love you long time bestfriend .

School is starting in less than 24 hours . I . AM . SO . LAZY . TO . GO . BACK . TO . SCHOOL .
And I have to lead the school , state , national anthem and the pledge tomorrow morning at the assembly . God bless me man . Please don't make my " raising-the-wrong-hand " and "forgetting-the-sequence-of-the-pledge " mistakeS happen again .

I can't believe I'm 17 already , in a blink of an eye , I'm gonna be maybe 24 already . Haha , okay sorry for the exaggerate . How time flies huh ? The Malaysian Certificate of Education is in 11 months . Oh noo , I hate all this " counting-down-to-exam " thing . Everytime I hear or see the word " SPM " , my heart literally beats faster , urgh .

Am gonna be a senior this year . I just hope nobody calls me " Kak Estee " or something like that , I feel so damn old okay ? I don't really like all the " senior-junior " thing , I mean like , we're all humans , why can't we be the same rather than having all this pangkat and gelaran ? Well I'm just saying , no hard feelings .

I really hope I won't sleep at school during classes anymore , PLEASE LA ESTEE PLEASE , focus during your lessons can or not ? -__- I always have this habit of sleeping in class . I really need to work hard from now . So I'm sorry my dear 83 followers if I don't update my blog that frequent anymore .

Happy Schooling everyone , no more sleeping late already :(

I wont sleep tonight

2011-01-01T00:42:00.003+08:00

For 31st December ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AHMAD IQBAL :)

Don't do anymore stupid stuffs okay ? God knows how much I love you and how much I treasure this friendship we share . Stop saying " fuck you " to me k ? Study hard future pilot and fly me around :) and yes , like you said , when you need me , no matter happy or sad , laughing or crying on the phone , I'm always there , and I will still and always be there for you , alright ? :)

Went to Coliseum for lunch today . And bumped into Marvin Yong Yee Mun . PSDFGFDNRTGD I MISS YOU SO BAD :( When am I gonna see you again ? >:(

Oh I mentioned about the competiton I entered at the previous posts right ? Ngeeh didn't get to win the amplifier . 1st runner up instead . But I have 1630 likes , so I thank each and everyone of you who liked and help me promoted . To be honest , through this competition , I saw who my real friends are , who are the ones who's willing to help me . I don't have to mention your name here because you know who you are , thank you so much , your help is very appreciated .

Oh and , Aiman login my Facebook account to spread for me because I have to go out during the afternoon . So he texted me and I saw a sudden surge at the likes , I asked why and he said he told a big amount of my friends to spread . When I login back my account , I saw him literally flirting with my guy friends , aiyomaa ! But it was very funny , he went really " manje " with them , haha ;p

And 1/1/11 ,

HAPPY NEW YEAR ERRBODY :D

2010 was disappointing and torturing with those continuos heartbreaks . But I believe that what has happened last year shall always stay on last year only , like the saying goes , ‘Lightning never strikes twice .’ What has happened always happens for a reason , we just have to live and learn , right ? :)

Count downed with Afiq , Ami and Weng Han . Can't wait for Thursday as I'll be going out with Weng Han and Jia Wei , weee :D

I decided not to make anymore new year's resolution because I never , ever follow them . So I should just follow the flow and be a good girl this year :) Deepest apologies for those who wished me through my cell , I have no credit to reply :/

Till then , may 2011 bring all of us good memories , prosperity and let us all have a good year ahead :)

Never over you

2010-12-30T00:01:00.006+08:00

Hi Z , I am so angry with you right now . How could you do this ? How could you do this to my ex boyfriend , YOUR BESTFRIEND ? Seriously . You want me to be your girlfriend when I already have a boyfriend , and you said we couple secretly so my ex boyfriend wouldn't be heart broken about it . What bullshit is this ? Heh saw your true colours . As much as I hate rejecting people , I'm glad I said no to you .

Okay enough of that . It's 30th December , so ....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EZRUL MEHZAS BIN MD ELHAM

Aww this horny bastard is finally 17 , woohooo ! We've been through so many things together and I'm glad we're very close . Thanks for all the horny jokes and always being there for me . Remember we used to play truth or dare through MSN ? And late night webcams , you'll sing and play me a song with your guitar . And you wrote a song about me , omg how sweet is that ? I love you ass , stay healthy always okay ? If you need someone to talk to , I'm just a phone call away :)

Ever ever after

2010-12-29T00:18:00.002+08:00

Next year , I won't be seeing the Form 5's this year that frequent anymore since they're out of school already . I'm so gonna miss you guys ! You people are the best senior ever , more to my brother from another mother . I'm never going to forget the memories we shared , and I promise you guys this . I love you all so much ! Sincerely from the bottom of my heart :) *hugs*

Oh Chun How said he saw me at Petaling Street today but was to shy to say " Hi " , ngeeehh that handsome boy !

For you my only one

2010-12-27T17:15:00.002+08:00

Going out with my sister wasn't that bad afterall O:)

Anyway , went back from KL around 5 yesterday and in the Monorail and Putra was full of Malaysia supporters . I swear the crowd was crazy . Didn't watch the match yesterday but Weng Han said Indons are bangsat . I have no idea if that's Malay , English , Chinese or Cantonese language .

Oh as you can see , I changed my spectacles already . Trying something different this time . I didn't really picked it properly since I wear contacts when I go out . Specs is just for school wear , so yeah , hihi . I cant wait to see my baby girls :D

Oh and Hazim too .

I'm dreaming of a white chritsmas

2010-12-26T00:28:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :D

May this wonderful celebration bring joy , peace , love , health and wealth to you and your family . I've always love Christmas , sadly my wish didn't came true this year . Thank you for all the presents and wishes , I really appreciate it :)

Epul ; You sambut krismas tak ? :-)
Estee ; I sambut la , wish i cepat
Epul ; Yeaah ! merry christmas wong sou teng :-D
Estee ; Hohoho , terima kasih bro !
Epul ; HO HO HO :-P

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD AFIQ :)

The best picture I could find of both of us , heh sad :/ May all your dreams and wishes come true boy :)

5 more days till New Year's , I better work on my New Year's Resolution now , goodnight .

Stay here forever

2010-12-23T14:12:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD HAZIM SAYANG :)

When I think of you , I can't help smiling , knowing that you've completed me somehow . You're always going to be the very best part of me . I hope you'll have a blast on your birthday , thanks for calling me just now sayang , I always love talking to you :) You're a hero and a gentleman , you're kind and honest , and you are someone I ever truly loved . I love you baby , and I always will ♥

Skype video called with Vicky , Izuddin and Aiman . We played Lat Ta Li Lat , Ji Gu Pang through webcam , I laughed so hard :p

Santa, can you hear me ?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here
Santa that’s my only wish this year

I'm the one who wants be with you

2010-12-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

He's the sweetest guy on earth and I'm so proud he's mine :)

Everything breaks my heart

2010-12-20T23:35:00.002+08:00

They're just tooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome :)

Hey I went Mid Valley yesterday and watched My Soul To Take . I swear to God that movie was fucken scary , screamed like shit , and I kept using my popcorn to cover my eyes , the sound was loud and the cinema was so damn cold , I am so not watching that movie anymore .

Oh and I went to Reeta's house today , and walked alone to Mich's house under the rain , omg -_- Their house is damn far , and the rain gave no mercy to me , I reached Mich's place and catched a cold already . Slept at Mich's house and felt better .

I slept at 8 pm yesterday night and woke up at 10 am this morning , HAHA , BEST GILA NAK MATI , I didnt even yawn today , I think 14 hours of sleep is really more than enough for me . I woke up and realize I have 3 good night messages from my friends , aww they are just too awesome ! :')

Okay I'm blank now , challo :D

P/s ; Did you realize it's full moon tonight ?

I'll be there for you

2010-12-15T21:39:00.000+08:00

" And maybe it's true, I'm falling for you. Maybe there's a chance that you're stuck on me, too. So maybe I'm wrong, it's all in my head, but maybe we're afraid of words we both haven't said."

Fly like a what ?

2010-12-15T21:18:00.002+08:00

HIIIII :D Mhmm , so yesterday I went Sunway with ze gang , Nareeta , Amalin , Ami , Hzyh , Nas , Afiq , Epul , Rauf , Izzuddin and Shahir . It was awesomeezzzzz ! We watched Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah , there was some part that were quite scary . I sat between Epul and Afiq . Since Epul sat nearer to Amalin , I sat closer to Afiq . Sorry Afiq for grabbing your arm so hard during the scary parts !

After movie , we went to Wendy's for lunch . Walked around and went to Redbox and screamed our lungs out . We went crazy , dancing and singing together so loudly in the karaoke room . I liked it when we sang the song Gee by SNSD , cause we don't know the lyrics , all we know was the " GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY BABY " , yeap thats all ;p But it was uber fun !

When we came out from Redbox , we saw the bus coming already , and the distance between Redbox and the bus station is quite far . So our athelic Afiq Azman Alias ran and tahan the bus for us , woohooo ! Superman on the move ! When we reached KJ , Rauf's dad sent me home . This was even scarier than last time because I was the only one who tumpang his dad .

Went to some Korean Restaurant with mummy today to have lunch , food was okay :) Oh and , I participated this contest at Facebook . Read my Facebook page for more information . I need to get the most 'likes' to win . As I was asking help Varmen ....

I miss you Varmen ! Don't wan't to see me already is it ? Oh and , I chatted with Edzrul , yeah the guy I went rock climbing with last year , woah what a suprise he still remembers me :D

Happy 4 Months sayang , I love you forever :)

No more looking back

2010-12-12T02:37:00.003+08:00

" Kenape you hantar me 10 of those messages ? Are you spamming ? :p "
" Nope, because you are the 9 of my favourite person in the world :) "

You know sometimes you'll receive those chain letters saying " Send this message to 10 of you favourite person or your .... will die . If you receive the message back your ... will come true . " yeah that kind of thing . I don't believe it you know , but back when I was Form 2 , I was pretty naive so I send messages like those to 10 of my favourite person . I sent it to one of my friend and that friend of mine send me 10 of those messages back , and as you can see the conversation I wrote above , he said because I'm his only favourite person in the world . Haha , pretty sweet huh ? Oh well , everything so different now . It's life we're talking about right ?

Oh yes baby , I'm addicted to the game above , I can sit infront of my laptop and play for hours , HAHAH , lifeless much ?

I'm suppose to go for some KL History Walk today , boriiiiiiiiiiiiiing , so plan cancelled . Had dinner with dearest family just now , after dinner went to Popo's house to chill . I went to Pasar Malam and saw so many familiar faces , said 'Hi' and all , haha I miss my school mates and friends around KJ . I miss those Indian Boys from 4F , HAHA , hey even though they're not really smart but they're nice to hang around okay ? I often see them at Pasar Malam during 6 -7 pm , and they'll to be like " HIIII AMOIIII " . I guess the best time is when I spoke Tamil with them *ehem pro much ? ;p* , and they answered me in Tamil back but I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about , haha awkwarddddd .

It's 3am already and I wonder what are my baby girls and boys doing .
I guess I shall hit the sack now since I'm off to KLCC tomorrow , hehe ciao .

Come take ma hand

2010-12-10T21:42:00.003+08:00

Estee ; Nas kau free skrang ?

Nas ; Rindu kau doh ;( Yes free , why ?

Oh my my my my my , I miss you too boy ! :(

Show me watchu got

2010-12-10T17:28:00.002+08:00

Honestly , what have I done to you ? Did I backstab you ? No . Did I kill your relatives ? No . Did I set your house on fire ? No . SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING MY SECRETS AS A TOPIC TO GOSSIP ? All this while , I trusted you and you've been telling my secrets to everyone , nice friend(s) I have there . When you had a hard time getting over your crush , I helped you . I send you goodnight texts to make sure you won't cry before you sleep . I fought with my bestfriend because of YOU , and you made me look like a complete fool . Think you're so pure ? I'll fucking burn your veil .

Yes anyone terase ?

The world has somehow shifted

2010-12-09T02:08:00.002+08:00

I love you both , until my last breath , I promise :)

They just wanna see me fall

2010-12-04T00:51:00.002+08:00

Estee ; Good night :)
Epul ; Haha asal ni ?

Estee ; Good night :)
Afiq ; Aik pehal tiba2 ni ? Salah send ke ni ? :-o
Estee ; Taaak , aku wish kau good nite la
Afiq ; Oh haha . Tak pernah pernah . Hehe . Goodnight sayang ;-)

Okay I barely wish my friends good night , me such a bad friend :(
It's 1 am already and I have Taekwondo grading at 8 am later , great just great . Oh and guess what ? Kim Hyun Joong , YES THAT HANDSOME MAN , Ji Hoo from BOF , Baek Seung Jo from Playful Kiss , is freaking coming to Malaysia , and I'm gonna see him later at Pavillion , OHH FUCK YEAH , dream came true , omg :')

I said I'd never let you go , and I never did
I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it

She's finally 8

2010-12-02T14:15:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Hazirah Yusof :)

I love you small girl ♥

River flows in you

2010-12-02T00:16:00.003+08:00

I just read Bal's blog , I really didn't knew he has a blog all this while . And oh my God , I can't believe my own eyes when I read his blog , it's so ... heartbreaking . Seriously Bal , it's not worth it , I have no idea how many times I have to tell you this , but please , she really isn't worth it . For now , just focus on your SPM and don't do anything stupid already . After SPM , I promise , we'll hang out and have fun , ok ? You better work hard so me , you and Deepak will be able to become pilots next time , oh yeah baybeh ! You know I'll always have your back right , Ahmad Iqbal :)

I've been eating like a machine lately , and my thighs are getting really gigantic , oh no , I guess I have to start joining mummy to go jogging in the morning already , but I always see Puan Tay Pek Choo at the park , haih Y_Y

I REALLY CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH SPM MAN .

Just tell me everything's alright

2010-11-30T23:22:00.004+08:00

I've told you before , don’t come running back to me when you get treated the exact same way you treated me . I'm sorry I have to be this mean towards you . Yes it's true , you know me so well that you know I can easily fall for all the sweet words you say to me . But no , not this time , I don't think it's working anymore . I apologise for being so cold blooded towards you , but I just get so frustrated every time my mind picture vividly how you used to treat me , you walked all over me , you caused me so much heartache in the past . I gave you enough love and enough changes but you threw it all back in my face . Ironic much ? One moment we share are full of laughter , then it becomes hatred between each other .

Pheww , I feel better now .
Happy December errbody :) My favourite month of the year , be nice to me alright ? Oh and guess what ? 25 more days left and it's Christmas already , YEAY ! I know you're excited too :D

Take me away to January

2010-11-29T19:46:00.001+08:00

I WANT 2010 TO END AS SOON AS POSSIBLE ,
WORST . YEAR . EVER .

Tell me right now baby

2010-11-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

Aiman ; Avada kadavra ! Jom ah main harry potter dgn aku
Estee ; Oblivate ! *poof poof*
Aiman ; *evade* Stuperfy ! Hah skrng kau dh pengsan!
Estee ; Sectumsempraaaa ! Eee kau byk darah skrang !
Aiman ; *ada orang dtng heal* vulnera sanentur x5 Haha, aku dah okay. Crucio! (Torture kau gila gila)
Estee ; *Pegi mampus la kau* x 10 ! Okay kau dah mati
Aiman ; Nono, expelliarmus! (Wand kau jatuh) avada kadavra!! (Kau mati)
Estee ; Aku elak curse tu . Impedimenta ! Kau jatuh and tak leh gerak .
Aiman ; Hahaha, mana ada spell tuu. Nama dia petrificus totalus lah :P Yg draco buat dkt harry dlm train kn?
Estee ; Enhorgio , kau jadi gemuk , HEHEHE
Aiman ; Denrsaugeo! Gigi kau besar, hehe

I swear he is the craziest best friend ever .

Watched Rapunzel 3D with Aiman yesterday at Curve . But I really didn't see any 3D effect -__- Okay who cares , the movie was so romantic , and the songs wasnt that annoying , and it's very Disney like , I lovee ! On a lighter note , I don't think I'm gonna watch any movies with Aiman anymore , HAHAHA , sumpah bising gila nak mati in the cinema . And when we wanted to cross the road to Ikano , he made me laugh and I was standing in the middle of the road laughing to myself , I could've get bang by a car okay Aiman Zulkifar ? Haha , but day well spent ;)

Uncle Lawrence is back from Bangkok tomorrow noon , YEAY ! And please please bring me to Bangkok with you like you said few months back , Malaysia veli boring laaa ;(

I'm so happy now because of some reasons , hehe he always make me smile :)
Hey Hazim , I think I wanna marry you ! ♥

-___-

2010-11-27T18:18:00.004+08:00

OH MY FUCK KAU TAKDE BOLA KE APE SIAL? You can go die now, NOW, please and thank you.

If you're ready , like I'm ready

2010-11-25T16:58:00.002+08:00

Talking to Mai Najihah always makes me feel better , thank you girl ♥ :)

You belong with me

2010-11-23T20:26:00.003+08:00

Hello hello readers :)

Went to OU with Rauf Yusof and Hazirah Yusof yesterday , had tea at Delicious , hoho that Hazirah Yusof like shy shy cat only :) Then we went to Secret Recipe to visit Epul and Nas . Aww I tell you , them boys are so sweet , I feel so protected when I'm with them , thanks guys , for making me feel better yesterday :) Waited for Abang Rahman Yusof , then he sent me home .

Today , met up with the Alam Megah dudes , Marvin and Vicky . We went Sunway Pyramid and watched Harry Potter . Maybe I'll be watching it again this Saturday , maybe . It's a great movie anyway . After movie , went to Secret Recipe again to check out them boys , Nas and Epul .

I'm so tired now , gonna watch my korean drama in a bit , chow ♥

Let's runaway

2010-11-20T22:59:00.003+08:00

ez says:
that time like we not serious oni

estee says:
yeah , do u consider me as ur ex girlf ?
i dunno to consider u as my ex boyf or not man
HAHAHA

ez says:
uhh
good question
HAHAHAHA

HAHAHA , you ass ! Thanks for making me happy man ! Anyway , we were rating girls on msn , then the lowest mark he gave was around 2 , and we both hate that girl , HAHAH ;p Okay so bad . Then this girl , he rate 0 , EEEYERR so bad :p

OKAY CANNOT STOP LAUGHING NOW , imma continue msn-ing with Ezrul Mehzas !

Say what ?

2010-11-19T17:48:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHA , seriously ? :p

We'll make the great escape

2010-11-19T01:53:00.002+08:00

This guy above is somehow always there for you if you ring him , and I'm so glad to have a friend like him .

I miss falling in love , and I want a hug right now :'(

Thinking of you

2010-11-15T21:32:00.002+08:00

Estee ; I go with reeta . Vicky say he got gps to pick you up :p
Mich ; Oh ok chun :) then i'll see you there tomorrow kayh =] i miss you princess :)

Aww this bby girl :D Having breakfast with Mich , Reeta , Vicky and Marvin Yong Yee Mun tomorrow morning , I'm looking forward and so excited about it *running in circles* :D

p/s ; Amirah Sufian , if you're reading this , Hakim Sufian is texting me now , ohoho be jealous ;p

We were just kids in love

2010-11-15T10:08:00.003+08:00

Hello there readers .

School's out , scream and shout ! Okay I miss watching High School Musical now ! So fuck yeah , school's over , finally . I passed by my class , 4 Amanah today . I loved this class , it brought back so many memories , sad , happy , everything . I had the best classmates , though many people thinks that first class people are always " poyo " , " bajet " and stuffs , but hey , you don't know us so keep your dirty mouth shut !

It's open day today and I got third in class . I think mummy and daddy are happy , well I'm glad they are . But since I got a 53 for Biology , mum told me that I should start studying during December and not to go out so frequently anymore , sigh :(

I can't believe I'm gonna be form 5 in just a few months , and Marvin just reminded me that SPM is gonna be in 12 months , wtf :s But I already have a list of things to do after SPM already , hehe . And I hope the boys will take their license as soon as possible so we wouldnt have to worry about transport if we want to go to anywhere , right Epul , Nas , Rauf , Afiq ? :) :) :)

Ohh , yesterday I finished reading Burned Alive . I had goosebumps after reading the last page , I don't why I just feel very sympathy for Souad , but she have her own happy family in the end . And I wonder , is life actually like a fairytale , a story always with a happy ending ? I doubt so . Went to Kinokuniya yesterday and bought The Wedding and Where Rainbows End . I've been craving to read Where Rainbows End since May , I'll go to every bookstore with Hilmi to find the book but we couldn't find it and I finally got it now .

It's 15th November , so Happy 3 Months Anniversary , love . I couldn't deny that we are drifting apart and the more I thought about it , the more I noticed how wide the gap between us had become . I'm really tired answering questions from almost all my pals , asking the same question over and over again " How's you and Hazim ? " , " You ngan Hazim okay ? " , " Hazim okay tak with you ? " , " Is he treating you okay " I'm just so sick and tired that all I can manage is faking a smile and say " Okay " , when the truth is , we are not really that okay . But of course , all couples go through ups and downs , I just really hope we will get better soon . I'm just so helpless and hopeless when it comes to relationships , and that is one thing I really hate about myself . I don't think so you'll read my blog , but please know that I love you , and I hope we can make it through .

You got me begging , begging , baby please dont go .

You and me

2010-11-11T00:37:00.003+08:00

Hello there readers.

Am now in my room , the lights are off , and I'm lying on my bed with my earphones , ahh best feeling in the world . But to be honest , moments like these are when million of things run in my mind , and I tend to be a little " emo " , heh yes . I've receive all my results already , so here it is

BM - 68
BI - 79
BC - 61
MM - 71
SEJ - 75
MORAL - 80
PHYSICS - 71
ADD MATHS - 70
CHEMISTRY - 64
BIOLOGY - 53

Open day is on Monday , I am dead . I'm a little disappointed at my English and Malay language , and of course Mathematics . But oh well , last minute studies , guess I should be satisfied about my marks already .

2010 is finally coming to an end . I hated this year , I hate those continuous heartbreak that I gave myself , I hate those " crying myself to sleep " nights , and those " crying at school " days , omg embarrassing . But there are happy moments too . For now , I'm just looking forward to Christmas and I hope santa will make my wish come true this year .

Gah don't know how to say this . It's like there's this stone in my heart and I just want to remove it right now . I believe , everything happens for a reason . But this 'thing' that is happening now , I just can't find a good 'reason' for it . Geddit geddit ? Everyone in this world wants to be loved right , so do I . Are there people in this world who takes other people feelings as their favourite toy ? Im reading this book called " Burned Alive " , and there's this part , it's when the girl gave the boy she loves her virginity because the boy said he loves her , but turned out it was lie . If I see this boy , I am so going to kick you balls . And I always question myself , don't I deserve to be loved , too ? Sigh .

Right now , I miss my superboy .

Crazy for you

2010-11-08T00:24:00.005+08:00

" Dia sihat kat sane ? ;) "
" Die chat ... dia rindu you la "

Why'd you tell me that Azli ? Sigh .

Gotta gotta gotta get your back boy

2010-11-04T09:42:00.003+08:00

Hiya readers :D

I would do anything to get a time machine and redo everything we did yesterday , it was superb . I went to Reeta's crib at 9 yesterday , chilled in her room and took a cab to Sunway . We went there early cause we thought we could meet up with Vicky and Marvin , but they came late . So the both of us had breakfast at Starbucks . Then I saw Rauf entering the entrance , so yeah 3 of us waited them at Starbucks .

After meeting up with everybody , 16 of us enter the cinema and watched Life as we know it . Vicky treated me popcorns , yeay ;) Fara sat behind me , and beside her was Ami and Afiq . Had our popcorn fights as usual , and there was this scene , when the boy and girl are leaving each other , very sad obviously , Fara kicked my head from behind , and I started laughing , like " HAHAHAHAHA " , okay awkward .

After movies , we went to Pizza Hut . Met up with Marvin and Vicky's friend , and we had lunch together . Then I saw Ami , Amalin , Fara at the other table . So I joined them . Then Epul , Nas , Rauf , Afiq , Shahir and Feisal came , so we went skating together :D Shahir , Izzudin , Khairul and Feisal didnt join though .

The fun begins in the skating rink , even though it was just going rounds and rounds and rounds for 2 hours . We pushed each other and I fell a couple of times , but it's okay . Amalin and Epul just can't be separated ya know , they're always holding each other hands when they're skating . It was really cute , my heart smiled seeing them like this :') I like it when Afiq bawa skating , you just have to hold his hand , and woooooshhh , he'll bring you go round the skating rink with lighting speed :D

Took a bus home , I slept at Fara's waist in the bus , so tired :/
We went to McD to grab a drink and Uncle Yusof sent me , Mich and Rabie home . The atmosphere in the car was very scary . I don't have a good relationship with Rauf's father because I only tumpang-ed him twice only , and when I go to his house , he's always not around . Then Mich started tickling me and I wanted to laugh , but tahan je la kan :p

Thank you people for making a very happy girl yesterday , sayang semua sampai mati (:

Turn it up , mash it up

2010-11-01T20:06:00.003+08:00

I clicked the " See Friendship " thing at Mich's page . I was home alone that time and I laughed to myself as I read back our conversations , this girl really knows how to make me happy :p

But when she cried this morning , I felt so useless , because I suck in pujuk-ing people , yes I'm very bad at that , all I can do is hug her and tell everything is gonna be alright . But it's okay , I'll break his kneecaps when I see him k ? :)

I had a great talk with mummy at dinner just now . Maybe I should follow her advice sometimes , I know mummy I've been a really bad daughter this year , I'll be a better one next year , ok ? ;)
Andddd I hope she'll let me go out this wednesday , I mean like exams are over man !

Today I came out late from school because we were discussing about our English marks . K I'm just gonna shutup about my English marks , seriously disappointed . Mr. Ananda was like , " Estee you did VERY bad " . Omg he used to say " Excellent as usual " :'(
So when I went out the school , I spotted mum's car . Deepak and Taufique was talking to my mum . And I was like ,

Estee ; Ei ei what are you boys doing ?
Taufique ; Hitting on your mum
Deepak ; Ya laa , your mum is so hot okay !
Mummy ; Okay good luck for your SPM okay ?
Deepak ; Auntie I want to see you again
Taufique ; Let's go to her house again
Estee ; K BYE BOYS !

Anyway , Reeta is throwing a Deepavali party this Saturday . And she's inviting Vicky and Marvin too . HEHEHE , can't wait to see them , miss you guys ! We're gonna party like , like it's 2012 . Okay , that song is stuck in my head now . Bye readers (:

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock of the door has changed

2010-11-01T00:21:00.003+08:00

Auntie Audrey ; Do you have any novel that I can borrow ? Got some romance wan la
Estee ; I have P.S. I love you , I'll give it to you tomorrow

People who are close to me should be shock that I'm actually lending that book to other people . Yeah , it was a suprise gift from Emi . I didn't allow anyone to read the book , not even my closest friend . And when I read the book , I make sure that I don't make any lines at the middle of the book . I just , treasure the book very much .

I have no idea why I lend it to Auntie Audrey . I mean like , whats the point right still holding on to the past . I know I've let Emi go long long time ago , but it's just this book that made me feel very special to Emi . Can you imagine someone with financial problem but still insist to buy you your favourite novel because that someone knows you desperately wants to read it . To me , it's uber sweet . Hehe but whatever , I'm just proud of myself that I've moved on already :)

Emiiiiiiii ! The promises we made was total bullshit right ? Haha , but still thanks for making me a happy girl with the lame and stupid jokes and teka teki . Haha tak leh lupe sial :D

11 pm .
Mi ; I kat luar rumah you ni , keluar skrang .
Estee ; *passes something*
Mi ; Ehh ! Dari tadi tak mandi lagi ?
Estee ; Taaak :p

NOVEMBER ALREADY . Omg , time passes by so fast . Anyway , November wish will be for me and Hazim to have a better relationship . I know I havent been a good girlfriend , heh Im a total sucker in relationships . But I'm still trying my best , so yeah forgive me for my wrong doings baby ? :'(
You know I love you from the bottom of my heart .

I'm just really confused right now

2010-10-29T18:31:00.002+08:00

Mich ; Im gona sleep now, then wake up at 4 then do a chemistry crash course ;) triple C master plan B) chiow ♥
Estee ; Wtf ? Asshole :p sweet dreams ! MUAAAH :-* <-- goodnight kiss :)

Thank you bby girl for sending me a goodnight message every night to make sure that I'll be able to sleep , love you :)

Mich and Reeta came over . We talked with each other for like 6 hours , about everything and anything . And yeah , I'm actually kinda confused right now , wait , I am VERY CONFUSE , I don't know if I should follow their advice or not . They think that I should " B.U. " with youknowwho . But ... Haih :'(

We talked about last year , and I miss the times after PMR :(
Last year , me , Mich and Mas used to be like the " twins " and also the " 1 Malaysia " gang , when AimanZ bully anyone of us , the other two will belasah AimanZ .

I have Physics 3 and Chemistry 3 paper left . For History paper 1 , I got 30/40 , which is quite satisfying , and 68 for BM , damn everyone else got like 70 and above , I feel so left out now >:(

Can't wait for exams to be over , and I'll have all the time in the world to watch my korean dramas and admiring my sexy korean boyfriend(s) . Hehe , thats all for now , BYE :D

If you don't love me let me go

2010-10-24T11:30:00.003+08:00

Hello readers , I had a great time at Prefect's Hi-Tea yesterday . Went to Elton's house at around 12.30 pm . Then Elton's father sent me , Elton , Hambali and Wai Shaun to Crystal Crown Hotel . And the fun begins :D

Tasha arrived around 2 . I went to the hotel lobby to pick her . When I saw her , I run to her with my 3 inch heels and hugged her so tightly , omg I miss you girl ! ♥

We were talking and laughing non - stop with Ezrul , Deepak , Taufique , Hafiz and all . The food was okay , I ate a lot because I kept reminding myself that I paid RM 65 for this . Then there's this game , they said you have to make up a group of 3 people , and it's like a 1 Malaysia thing . So me , Kughen and Hafiz teamed up . Haha , it was kinda awkward because there's 5 group and only our group are from mixed gender . Anyway , they gave us 4 pieces of white cloth , and we have to use those white cloth to design a costume kind of thing . I was the model , and Hafiz and Kughen made me a " Superwoman nak kahwin pakai tudung " . Omg I look horrible when I'm in a "tudung" ! But I had fun , nice job Kughen and Hafiz :D

We took a lot of pictures yesterday , yay :D Then I followed Ezrul home . While waiting for his dad to come , we said goodbye and hugged everyone , it felt good , we were like a big family (: When Ezrul's dad came , his brother came along too . So me , Deepak , Taufique and Ezrul had to sit behind , and it's a Kancil . Torture man , especially when it comes to a turn , everyone will just push themselves to the right or left . But that wasnt that bad , I remembered when I was form 2 , 8 of us were in one car to Tasha's birthday party , that was worse :p

Yesterday , we actually wanted to dance , because last year we danced the " Down " song during Jamuan Pengawas . But we kinda forgotten the dance steps already so plan canceled :/ I miss the dance ! They used to come and practice at my house , good times :')

Thank you Ezrul for taking care of me yesterday , he's the one who can't see me going home alone by cab . Last year , when we went to Curve and left at 10 pm , he took a cab with me and sent me home , ahh so caring right :D

Am having Add Maths exam tomorrow , IM GONNA DIE !
And if I fail my add maths , I'm so gonna blame this certain someone who is distracting me >(
For now , challo , and good luck for Add Maths dear 4 Amanah :)

I finally found you

2010-10-22T22:39:00.002+08:00

♥

And we decide that it's forever

2010-10-22T18:33:00.002+08:00

Hello readers . I studied for 4 hours straight today , with Michelle . After studying , we talked , for quite long , and the things we talked about brought back memories and it broke my heart .

Mich ; Honestly la , you were so stupid . Didn't you cry after that thing happen ?
Estee ; Yes
Mich ; Then ?
Estee ; I dont know ?
Mich ; Didn't you see it was a sign of loneliness ? You were at the top of his list you know
Estee ; :'(
Mich ; Haih , it's okay la , nasi sudah menjadi bubur , that's all I'm gonna say . *hugs*

Yeah , I was a little stupid back then . Why didn't I see it ? And I hate myself for thinking about you before I go to sleep lately . How I wish I have a time machine and everything will be perfectly fine now .

Am having prefect's hi-tea tomorrow . But , I'm not excited , not at all . I just hope I'm gonna enjoy myself , Deepak said he's gonna pull me to the stage and dance with him , HAHAHA :P

I got 71 for my Maths , lowest mark I've ever got for Maths in my entire life so far . Damn , from last year 60/60 for Maths , and my marks been dropping and dropping and dropping -__- I have to work hard from now !

But I'm afraid when I hear stories
About a husband and wife
There's no happy endings
No Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

HAZIM ♥ :D

Smile, though your heart is aching

2010-10-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

Hello people :) So BM and English wasnt that hard , but I screwed up my BM paper 2 , damn effin hard . I had no idea what peribahasa to put , but whatever , glad that is over already . I'm having Maths tomorrow , I must score an A for Maths , I don't want to make any history by getting a B for my Maths paper .

I went to KFC with Amirah Sufian just now . That girl is like my entertainer , always telling me jokes that made me laughed my ass off . And her face expression , aiyoo so funny . Sometimes , when she says something funny , she'll hit the table and laugh . But not many people find things she say funny , only I do , and they said I'm like the " kuat gelak " type :p Oh well , I love you bby girl :)

I had fun at tuition just now , I miss talking crap with Varmen . But he can't stop talking about Aiman to me , but Varmen's a nice guy , a very nice and annoying little bastard .

Varmen ; Eh for english what essay you wrote ?
Estee ; Uhh an unforgettable character
Mich ; Same as Estee
Varmen ; Ohh same la 3 of us . What you wrote ? I wrote the english teacher gave wan
Mich ; The dog ? I wrote the dog
Varmen ; I wrote the dog . Who will write the trees la right
Estee ; * reads a new message * OMG , RAUF WROTE ABOUT TREES
Mich ; Wtf ?

Then 3 of us started laughing . Before I went home ,

Varmen ; Ehh Yogis , Estee is going home laa , give her a hug man
Estee and Yogis ; Fuck Off Varmen !

Mich , Varmen and Yogis made my night , I was laughing to myself in the car thinking about the conversation we had just now ;p

Hmm , haih . I don't know whats going in my mind now , it's like I'm so confused , and I'm feeling so insecure now . Gahh , private blog , here I come !

Good luck please be on my side

2010-10-17T15:06:00.005+08:00

Hello readers :D Mhmm , guess what ? My exam is tomorrow , TOMORROW . Dear finals , I'm gonna sacrifice my online time and my nap time for you , so please be nice to me , okay ? :)

My mum have been telling me to study for my SPM already , damn my finals haven't even started and she's talking about SPM already , shit . I target for atleast 5 A's this finals , I really hope I can get those 5 A's *cross fingers* .

To be honest , I'm really afraid for Chemistry , I mean like I know nothing about it , and Biology , what the eff is Malnutrition , Pore Protein and crap . Ekk I hate studying -.-

Moving on , I went to Grace and Alvin's birthday party yesterday . I seriously can't imagine what will happen if I go party with them when I'm 18 , if you know what I mean . Sadly , Wai Shaun wasnt there last night . Well I miss that boy so badly :(

I slept pretty early last night , around 11.30 . As usual , I put my phone under my pillow and set it on vibrate mode . Around 4 I woke up because Hazim texted me and the phone vibrated . I checked my phone and I have 3 more messages from my friends but I only woke up by Hazim's text , hehe something I find quite amazing :)

So yeah , I dont know what to write anymore , I guess I'll write more after my finals . For now , byee :)

That would be the only that I ever need

2010-10-15T00:37:00.005+08:00

Hello readers , am so happy now :D Just got back Adam Lambert's concert , damn I was standing at the pit , he blew me a flying kiss , HEHEHE ;p And his bassist , so smexyyy ! Overall , I had fun , and his concert was awesome , I love you Adaaaam :D

I talked to Geetha today , one of my Physics tuition friend , but we barely talk . So I dont really socialize with my tuition mates , therefore she told me about the people in my tuition class , she was like ,

Geetha ; The guy infront of you is Farhan

Estee ; He got thaaat slang when he talks

Geetha ; Yeah he studied in US a few years ago , then he came back . When he talks right , I just feel like

Estee and Geetha ; TELLING HIM TO SHUT UP

Estee ; His voice so sexy right

Geetha ; I KNOWW

Yes this Farhan's voice , is very different . Me and Grace calls him " Sexy Voice " , HAHAHA , I'm serious , when he speaks , it gives you a tingling feeling :p

Oh anddd , Happy 2 Months Sayang , yeaaaay (:

I've been smiling to myself because of you , I love you baby ♥

No stress

2010-10-11T00:10:00.007+08:00

As you can see , this post is dedicated to ...

DEEPAK NAIR

The brother , singing partner , crapping partner , horny teacher ;p , model , bestfriend , dance partner , senior , and the always there for me ,

Happy Birthday :D

Thanks for being there whenever I need a shoulder to cry on , and for cursing the person who bullies me , not a good thing , but whatever :p Good luck for your SPM , I know you can do it . I love you Deepak ;)

If I had you

2010-10-08T17:28:00.003+08:00

Hey there readers . I'm so sleepy right now . I went on Skype last night and video called with Yee Juinn . He played the piano , omg it was so nice . I think he learns how to play the piano all by himself , bravo bravo . Around 1.30am Hazim called , then my sim card had some problems , I can't send any SMS and call anyone , ngeek ! But it was still nice hearing his voice before I go to bed , hee (:

Woke up at 5.45 this morning , was too lazy to shower . Then Ihsan picked me , my sister and Hafiz up , and we went for a photoshoot :D Haha , we had fun . Met up with Deepak . Then we saw Taufique and Imran . Imran looked so ... tough with his singlet . Went to McD after the photoshoot . Hafiz and Deepak thinks my mum is awesome , Mich and Reeta thinks so too , hehe :D

We had this stupid conversation on ,

Ihsan ; Estee just eat chicken neck , papaya and drink soya for the next two months

Deepak ; Then you'll have big TATA'S , and you'll be the hottest chick in school

Deepak , Hafiz and Ihsan's mind is somehow too dirty at times , they taught me all the horny horny stuffs today , bodoh gilaaa :p But I love you people , thank you for making me happy :D

Walked to Epul's house after McD . Lepak for awhile , then walked to school with Epul , Rauf and AimanZ . We had some Interact meeting , boooooringggg ~ After the meeting , Mich and Reeta came to my house . Then later on , Ami , Fara and Shitul came . We studied Add Maths , just the first two chapters in 4 hours -__- I realized I've forgotten so much about Add Maths :O

" Heee hazim is so lucky " A friend of mine told me that and it put a smile on my face , hehe :)

Am gonna study Physics now , keep safe readers ;)

Kiss the day goodbye

2010-10-05T22:15:00.004+08:00

Hello there :B I had an awesome day yesterday , the day spent with four fantastic people ; Epul , Nas , Afiq , Rauf . I wasn't really happy yesterday due to some reasons , but 4 of them managed to put a smile on my face , thank you korg , sayang sume :D

I have to go to school this Friday because we have to discuss about our Installation Day . And I think I'm the MC ( again ) . But this time , I get to choose my partner . I'm still wondering who I want it to be , but the first name that came to my mind is AimanZ , so I guess I'll just pick him :p

Am so pissed right now . Well not pissed but , I don't know , sad and disappointed I guess . It's like , some people out there just like to take advantage of me , like fuck , I'm not some kind of toy okay , I have feelings too . When I don't say it doesn't mean I don't care . I just want to take care of your feelings , so why can't you do the same for me ? Mehh , I guess I just don't have luck in relationships .

I'm reading " The Last Song " now . Seriously , Will Blakelee IS THE SWEETEST GUY ON EARTH ♥ ! I guess that's it for now , I'm so lazy to type nowadays , byee :)

" You're my best guy friend , ever "
" You're my best girl friend "
" Ever ? "
" Ever . "

:)

Muhammad Hazim

2010-10-02T00:26:00.005+08:00

You're the best boyfriend , ever ♥ :)